Monday, September 21, 2009

Reservations-Not Just A Suggestion!

First of all, allow me to welcome myself back to the land of the "paying to be served" tutorial that I hope some have come to rely on......"Welcome Back Me!"

Now-please open your web browsers to, well, here and lets start on page now.

We begin by breaking down the actual word "reservation". The first part of the word is "reserve" as in, setting aside an appropriate sized table to accommodate any persons attending the impending dinner/lunch extravaganza. This aspect alone is crucial to the outcome of any social gathering.
However; the unsung importance of the reservation lies in the root of the second part of the word -"ation", as in, "preparation". This is, to the staff of chosen dining place, as "reserve" is to the guests. So you see, the word itself is a complete representation of all parties involved in the execution of the perfect evening.

Confused? Let us put it in a practical, and an all to frequent, scenario.

Saturday 6:20 p.m
"Good Evening and thank you for calling ________, This is Toby, how can I help you?
"Yeah-Do we need a reservation?"
"Yes, they are certainly suggested. What time would you like to come in?" (let the record show that the following question is executed with a congenial smile, because although the question cuts to the core of any reputable restaurant, I really have no way of knowing if this person is an asshole or not....YET).
"I dunno, around 7:30"
"I believe I might be able to squeeze you in, how many in your party?" (smile getting tighter as phone guest rapidly approaches asshole status. Dumb question+peak hour request=possible asshole. Beware)
"Oh, Ok, Let's see 1,2,3,456,7....I think theres like 14 of us."


This is where Management jobs are lost, people cry, and a judge to be named later orders anger management courses.

6:30 on a Saturday and you and 13 of your closest Mensa think tank companions just decided that you wanted dinner, in one hour, at a linen and wine glass restaurant, and you start the phone call with "Do we need a reservation?"

If I could reach through the phone and perform a vasectomy or perhaps rip out your ovaries to prevent future generations of helmet wearing droolers-that like to dine out, so help me god I would.
Even if it were a Tuesday at 4:30 and the restaurant was empty, I still might hang up on this person out of principal alone.

"No, of course Sir. Let me just erase 4 of these other reservations that called a week ago to make some room for you and your super important guests."
What exactly are they expecting to hear? And do they get mad and shocked when you say there is no possible way? Oh you betcha!

So you see-to "reserve" space (of any size) takes prepar"ation". So Please-for the love of all things holy-give your favorite places at least 24 hours notice of your visit, even if your dining alone!

At this point the smile is uber-tight, teeth grinding and I continue...."Why don't you come in for a pre-dinner beverage in the lounge, and I'll see what I can do about a table for you and your party, but It may be closer to 8. Your last name sir?"

I not only like my job, I need it-and no judge is going to tell me who to hang out with for 6 months while I work on my issues!

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