Friday, September 26, 2008

Sunday Diners-a message from behind the scenes

The typical Sunday Diner seems to follow a pattern that should be brought to light, solely to serve as an instruction manual for the lay person, or a "what -not-to-do" outline for those tempted to eat out on Sundays.
"Honey, we got a coupon for a deal at the local watering hole that we have never been too, and we need to take advantage of it soon, so we can get busy not going back ever again."
"Sounds good Hun-don't make a reservation for our family of 12. We will just show up".
With flip flops, tank tops, and wailing babies blazing, the demanding begins.
"Hot tea, water for the table...and is bread free? good, we'll have that...and we have a coupon".
Bless the servers heart for abstaining from the tempting eye roll, and instead replacing with a gracious grin, all the while muttering through clinched teeth, "I'm never going to make rent this month".
2 1/2 hours, 75 bread baskets, and a bill for $28.50 later, the wildly appropriate (and very well deserved) tip of $1.75 is applied to the bill and the Appalachian family disappears leaving only the broken crayons and miles of crushed Cheerio crumbs in the carpet (provided of course by thoughtful aunt Bell and her never depleted pantry from 1942), never to return again......until wait......."Honey, we got a coupon for a deal..bla, bla, bla.".

Friends don't let friends be Sunday Diners!


kirsdess555 said...

Toby - you are hilarious. You should really think about becoming a writer because you are so very clear, concise and witty. God Bless you!!! - Kirstin Wallace

Sandey Grinn said...

I'm still off on Sundays, right?

christin said... SO TRUE.

Carrie said...

I couldn't help but read that over in my head in Anthony Bourdain's voice. Well done, and good point!

dfwsloan said...

You know, in business school, we studied the people who use coupons. There are three types (I'll word this for the restaurant industry). The first, and the only ones sought after by restaurants, are the ones who will take the opportunity to try your restaurant and then continue to come back if they like the food and service. The second, and the ones who restaurants are pretty neutral on, are the ones who already like your place and already come there. They just come a little more since they have coupons. We break even on them and they'll come back occasionally and pay full price. The third, and these are your standard Sunday diners, are the people who only come to your restaurant because they have a coupon. They will never come back until you give them another deal the restaurant won't make money on. They drive from miles around to save a dime and they'll never give a nickel of that dime to their server.

But it's our management's fault. They created the Sunday Diner. Whether to make their restaurants look busier on Sundays or in the misguided effort to bring people in who might actually come back on a Friday, they have filled their restaurants with CHEAP fuckers on Sundays who do nothing more than hurt the service their target customers receive.

No offense Grandma...