Saturday, January 17, 2009

Don't Do It!

Here now I reveal some restaurant subject matter that is the topic of many fury laden tyraids around the proverbial water cooler behind the scenes (or the service station as it were).

"Table 62 just gave me the verbal tip, and then ordered 3 fuckin' hot teas!"

Let's break it down.
The "verbal tip" is the kiss of death for any server anywhere on the globe. The meal is almost done, the server is in "go" mode making sure that the final minutes before you enter the gratuity are amazingly memorable, despite the fact your steak was undercooked, or your favorite table wasn't available. Then it happens-The patron touches the servers arm and says, "You were a fantastic server, thank you so much".

AAHHHH! The server never even saw it coming. This is the verbal tip. As soon as the bill is laid, and the verbal tip applied, the actual tip is scribbled in....10%. Most verbal tippers actually think that the compliment translates to cash!

"Thank you so much for the kind words, I'll just put them here in my self addressed stamped envelope and mail them to my land lord. I'm sure he'll think that's more than adequate for this months rent".....Don't Do It! Let your monetary tip be the compliment. We appreciate it more.

Secondly-Hot Tea

Unless you are dining at an Chinese food establishment, hot tea is the worst item you can order, and will evoke eye rolls and shit talk.
Hot tea takes 7 steps to complete for just one order-Cup & saucer (I'm even counting this as one), hot water tea pot, sugar, cream, spoon, and lemon, all balanced precariously atop a bulky-non server friendly tea box. All for a staggering $2.00. Add to the fact that because of all the steps, the busboy won't even get it for you, just boils down to...your screwed. (note: you will never find any person that has ever worked food and beverage fine dining, order a tea for themselves when dining out...ever~and if they do..refer to earlier blog "You Do, or You Don't".)
Nothing throws a tempo off of a busy server than a hot tea order, so...Don't Do It!

Lets re-cap. Hot tea in Chinese restaurant...good! Hot tea in any other restaurant....C'mon man, whats wrong with coffee? My busboy will get that!
And, I don't care if I do remind you of your son, or you acknowledge that I'm really good at what I do-Translate that into dollars and scribble it on your bill. Words don't pay bills!

Class Dismissed

No comments: